I worked with a much-loved customer in London last week.  We’ve worked together for over a decade so I should be able to nail her personal style within minutes right?

It often seems that the longer we “know” someone the easier it is for us to be in tune with them, to recognise intimate details and spot any signs of change.  But sometimes the converse can occur, we can make assumptions and be “the last to know”.

We might think “I’ve known this person since she was super-confident in her twenties and had a senior job so I reckon that she’ll always be a force of nature.”

Such assumptions might miss the effects of a corrosive relationship, long-term occupational stress or ill-health.  Our assumptions prevent us from looking for signs of change and the relationship becomes superficial.  If such changes can be missed by close friends and relatives or romantic partners I can never assume that I know where a client is in her life and always want to know what’s happening now and how she wants her style to develop as we go forward.  The alternative is to miss the opportunity to help someone see the wonderful person that she is now, to  leave her hankering after someone that she used to be.  The truth is that we’re constantly changing whether we acknowledge it or not as the saying goes, “If we’re not growing then we’re dying.”

Not only can we fail to keep in tune with the developments of people around us but we can lose track of ourselves.  Could your style be growing stale?  Does it reflect how you’ve been growing recently or has it been left behind, scuffing toes in the dirt and feeling out of sorts?  We can’t assume that we’re the same people that we were two years ago, five years ago, and not acknowledge the changes that have happened in that time.

You might tell yourself “I’ve always been more reserved,” but did that trait belong to a person who hadn’t been mentored by a generous colleague or who hadn’t gained confidence from successfully parenting small children?  If you allow yourself time to think it through could you discover a new, better version of yourself?

Similarly, you might think “I’ve never liked wearing animal print,” but by challenging that old assumption you might find that you now love wearing pattern. This happened at a charity event I worked at in Hobbs last week and my customer was thrilled to discover how much she enjoyed adding a new print to her wardrobe.  Challenge yourself this week to consider one characteristic or style choice that you’ve previously been told, or have assumed, belongs to you.  What if you’ve been misled or you’re deceiving yourself?  What if it’s not relevant to you anymore?  Ridding ourselves of traits or clothes that don’t work for us now makes room for new traits and new style choices.  It can cause quite a shift in our lives and our wardrobes.  If you’d like some help to consider these issues then get in touch to use our services, which can be offered face-to-face or online.

It was fantastic to receive an email today from my customer in London to say that she loves the fresh style we introduced to her wardrobe last week.  That’s the effect of challenging our assumptions of our personality or style, “the only constant is change”.


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